


When the Smoke Blows Over

by LonelyIntrovert



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV), wayhaught - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Gen, Therapy, Trauma, everybody take care of yourself, hella feels, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-30 19:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyIntrovert/pseuds/LonelyIntrovert
Summary: Trigger warnings of panic attacks: Nicole always thought she could handle her anxiety until it catches up with herWaverly and Nicole go to therapy for Nicole's traumatic childhood





	1. Chapter 1

When Waverly woke up that Wednesday, she had not expected it to be a very eventful day. Maybe she would get her hair done, if no cases cropped up from the BBD office, (she really should stop calling it that), and then lounge around Nicole’s apartment with CJ while she waited for the redhead to get off work.

This was not to be the case that Wednesday.

There were no cases that day, and she found herself lounging in her bed, twiddling on her phone for a few hours before managing to pick herself up and drive herself into town. She discovered the only hair salon in Purgatory to be closed, and with a huff she shrugged and decided to get some lunch to bring to the office. She stopped by a sandwich shop, bought some footlongs, and proceeded to drive to the PSD office. 

When she showed up there, she was bewildered to discover that Nicole had left for the day.

“Yeah, she just kinda told Nedley she didn’t feel very well and left,” an officer had told her with a shrug, his mouth full of half-chewed sandwich. At this, Waverly frowned and made her way out the door as she checked her phone.

No new messages from her best baby.

With that she knew something was fishy.

^^^^^

It didn’t take Waverly long to hop in her car and decide to drive to Nicole’s house. She had a bit of sandwich left and decided that would be her olive branch for showing up unannounced.

Well, not REALLY unannounced—Waverly supposed three missed calls and the two voicemails she left were kind of announcements. 

Waverly hummed as she got out of her car, carrying the sandwich under her arm as she swept up to Nicole’s doorstep. 

She found the door unlocked.

^^^^^

Waverly did not know what to think.

The faucet to the sink was running, and there was shattered glass on the floor, water dripping down the counter.

Waverly immediately dropped the sandwich, hands flying into her purse as she searched for her phone.

“Nicole?!”

It was a panicked voice, a voice that was not her own.

On the counter was a strange sight—Nicole’s medication cast down, pills haphazardly spilling out of the container, spelling something ominous. It appeared as if Nicole had tried taking her medicine but then something interrupted her…

Waverly froze as she heard something that make her heart jump into her throat.

Her feet moved automatically, back through the bedroom, into the bathroom.

^^^^^

“Nicole—” 

It was sputtered, soft, horrified.

Her best baby, curled up on the tiles of the bathroom—sobbing.

Sobbing like all sense of semblance had deserted her, sobbing like she no longer was human—no longer wanted to be human. She sobbed until her eyes were dried out and her mouth was blubbering with slobber. Her face was red and puffy as she assumed fetal position, her ginger tresses slick with fluid. 

Waverly dropped down to her knees, careful to extract Nicole’s head from under the toilet bowl.

“Baby—” Waverly gasped, pulling Nicole onto her lap, her holding the other tight around her chest, reaching for her sternum as Nicole’s arms flailed. A strange noise came from Nicole, as if she were trying to speak but all that was managed was a choked moan.

“Did you take your medicine?” Waverly gasped, tightening her hold over Nicole, shocked at the force of Nicole’s trembling.

“Y-y-y-es b-b-ut I th-threw it up,” Nicole struggled, spittle flying from her lips as she violently shook in Waverly’s hands.

Waverly extracted her phone and pulled it up.

“Do you want me to call an ambulance?” Waverly whispered, her voice trembling.

“N-n-no—”

“Okay,” Waverly whispered, pulling Nicole against her chest, the ginger burying her face in Waverly’s shirt. There was a moment of silence as Waverly rocked her back and forth, Nicole’s sobs slowing slightly.

“Nicole…” Waverly whispered, soft tears tracing down her face, “Are…are you ready to see a counselor?” 

The blubbering form against her nodded feebly.

^^^^^ 

The walls were blue.

Waverly had expected them to be white.

She also didn’t expect that coffee table to look so inviting, the magazines to look so casual, the people around her to look so…well, normal. She eyed the people passing in front of them warily, but they seemed so calm and well, not crazy.

Despite this, Waverly did not lose her edged sense of defense as she sat next to Nicole in the waiting room. Nicole’s eyes had dried up on the drive there, her breathing still shallow but much deeper than before. Her face was puffy, and eyes were red, but it was as if the people around them did not even notice. 

Nicole’s hands shook as she turned the page of the magazine, not reading the pages beneath her neatly trimmed fingers.

“Nicole Haught?” a voice rang from the corner of the waiting room.

A neatly dressed woman, appearing in her forties, stood there, her eyes kind and smiling.

Nicole stiffened beside her. Nicole glanced at Waverly, her expression panicked.

“It’s okay,” Waverly whispered.

Nicole nodded gently before rising up and walking cautiously towards the older lady.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole goes to therapy and its not as clean cut as anyone would have anticipated

“…Miss Haught.”

It was said gently, Nicole stirring for a start.

The therapist had introduced herself as Katie. She smiled kindly at Nicole, clipboard in hand.

“Huh?” Nicole managed.

“I asked how you were today,” Katie said calmly, reading glasses perched at the end of her nose.

“Oh…fine,” Nicole stammered. Katie arched an eyebrow at this—clearly, she was not ‘fine’, eyes red and puffy, arms shaking slightly.

“I’m sorry for the wait—I was waiting on your files,” Katie explained, pointing to the file in front of her, “Now, I just need to verify some information before we continue.”

Nicole nodded, shivering slightly.

“You admitted yourself today citing a panic disorder—this is confirmed by your GP…and you take medicine for it, as needed, correct?”

Nicole nodded again, head bobbing.

“When was the last time you had a panic attack?”

“I…I don’t know, the medicine has been working so…” Nicole whispered hoarsely.

“Okay,” Katie said breezily, scribbling something down. There was silence as she did this. Katie flicked through the rest of Nicole’s file, fingers tapping idly over the paper.

“You spent a few weeks on the psychiatric ward at St. Mark’s when you were young—then you were discharged for lack of compliance…”

“I complied, I just couldn’t remember,” Nicole said a bit too harshly, Katie raising her eyebrows. Katie very deliberately closed the file and set it aside before gathering up her clipboard.

Nicole felt as if she had done something very wrong somehow.

“Let’s talk about what happened today, then,” Katie said calmly, raising her eyes to look expectantly at Nicole. Nicole froze, her body stiffening.

“What caused you to panic today?” the counselor inquired, head cocked to the side.

Nicole swallowed dryly.

“…bad thoughts,” she rasped. Katie blinked, and Nicole was overly aware of the older woman analyzing her every move.

“What kind of bad thoughts? Intrusive ones?”

“Sure.”

Katie sighed.

“I’ll need a bit more in order to help you, Nicole.”

Nicole went silent, her eyes growing distant as a funny feeling of numbness drifted over her. Her limbs grew to be dead weight, and she felt as if her mind was being compressed together.

“Nicole?”

The redhead made a soft noise, acknowledging the other but unable to fully respond. Panic was mounting in her chest, realizing that there was no way out, she was not at home where she could escape this…

Katie shifted.

“Can you talk Nicole?” It was a genuine question.

“No.” Nicole fought with her jaw muscles to get the word out, her teeth snapping shut after as the overwhelming urge to vomit passed over her.  
Katie observed her calmly, as if she saw this every day.

Oh wait…she probably did.

“This is what I am going to do, Nicole,” Katie narrated gently, “I am going to get you out of this dissociative state and into a panic one, okay? From there, we can work through calming you down.” 

A tremble went through Nicole’s body, her hands and feet growing cold as she lost sensation in her legs.

“Focus on why you started panicking today—bring it all out, let it wash over you.”

Nicole began to shake.

“Good-job now make sure you breathe, focus.”

Nicole released a sputtered gasp, her whole body beginning to break down as a sob tore from her lips, dread filling her. She forced feeling back in her legs as she brought her hands up to cover her mouth, a silent howl escaping her.

“Okay Nicole,” Katie said, nodding her approval, “Now get on the ground and give me ten push-ups.”

Nicole did a double take, sparing the counselor a shocked look. Katie gazed at her expectantly, gesturing at the redhead impatiently.

“Ten, Miss Haught, now.”

Nicole scrambled to her knees in front of the couch, lowering herself to the ground in a plank, her whole body shaking violently as she raised herself up and lowered again. She did this twice more, Katie watching her casually.

“How many is that?”

“Three,” Nicole mumbled, sniffling.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“Three,” Nicole repeated in a calmer voice, dropping down for another, “four…”

“Five…six…seven…eight…”

Nicole paused, her breathing normal as she held her torso up above the ground, puzzling over the transformation that had just occurred. The redhead turned to spare her counselor a look. Katie gazed at her serenely, eyebrows mildly raised.

“Nine…ten…” Nicole finished, leaning back on her knees.

“You okay?” Katie inquired as Nicole gingerly picked herself off the floor.

“…yeah,” Nicole said, nodding almost to herself.

“Good…can you tell me about what just happened?”

“I panicked again,” Nicole said evasively. Katie shot her an exasperated look.

“About…”

Nicole sighed, forcing her heartrate to remain low.

“I’m not crazy.” It was a hoarse whisper.

Katie blinked.

“I never said you were,” the counselor said slowly.

“No…but I’m afraid…other people will,” Nicole breathed, body shaking slightly.

“Do you think you’ve given them reason to believe you are?”

Nicole shook her head, eyes distant. Katie cocked an eyebrow, piecing something together.

“You believe you are crazy,” Katie proposed. Silent tears dropped from Nicole’s cheeks, the ginger wiping them away hurriedly. 

“I—I can’t remember whole sections of my childhood,” Nicole managed, looking irritated with herself, “And I used to not care about it, but lately I’ve been…getting these, like, flashbacks? And they aren’t bad ones, just me remembering things that were significant at the time but…but why?”

“What are you worried will happen?” Katie asked with a frown. Nicole blew out her breath.

“What if I remember something that is bad? What if I remember something that I did—what if I hurt someone and just remember it, out of the blue? And I can’t…I can’t function, or…or—” Nicole trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

“You believe you hurt someone?”

“I—no, I didn’t say THAT—”

“But it’s a concern of yours,” Katie prompted.

“Yes,” Nicole said softly. The redhead watched as Katie scribbled over her clipboard.

“Okay…before we continue, I want to clear up some things you left blank on your survey…” Katie said calmly, flicking some papers over, a finger trailing down the paper as she searched for what she was looking for.

“Have you thought a lot about death or dying?” Katie read aloud before fixing her gaze on Nicole.

The redhead stiffened.

“What’s ‘a lot’ mean?” Nicole quipped sourly.

Katie gave her an exasperated look before writing on the paper, breathing, “That’s a ‘yes’ then.”

Nicole fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Sorry, it’s just an occupational hazard—lots of death,” Nicole said dryly. Katie spared her an impatient look before looking back down at the clipboard.

“Have you thought of or considered suicide? If yes, how many times in the last week? Six weeks?” Katie read, looking up, “You left the whole section blank.”

Nicole licked her dried lips.

“Pass.”

Katie very slowly and deliberately removed her glasses to stare at Nicole head on.

“This is not that kind of twenty-questions—if this was a mandated therapy session by your department, you’d fail for that response alone.”

Nicole pressed her lips into a hard line.

“It’s complicated,” she bit out.

“Can you explain?”

A pause stretched between them.

“I don’t think about suicide—just kind of think that if something bad happened I wouldn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Why?” Katie pressed, pen poised and at the ready.

This time the silence stretched longer. Nicole stirred, suddenly feeling like she was being put under a microscope.

“Can I just…go?” Nicole asked, not hiding the hostility in her voice.

Katie blinked and lowered her pen.

“This is a private practice, you can leave whenever you want to,” the counselor said evenly.

“I think I’ll do that,” Nicole said aloofly, gathering her jacket.

Katie made no movement to stop her, simply scribbling something on her clipboard and placing the cap back on her pen. Nicole reached the door, hurriedly shrugging her coat on.

“Just be sure you arrange an appointment with the receptionist three days from now,” Katie said mindfully from her chair, “I would do it on your way out—we book up quick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Nicole doesn't take to well at people picking her brains :( 
> 
> Thoughts so far?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> strange topics are breached because of Nicole's tendency to try and distract her counselor

Nicole’s expression was drawn as she sat perfectly still next to Waverly, the brunette thumbing through a magazine, trying to find a specific page she was using as a guide for her knitting. 

“Nicole Haught—”

Nicole jumped up, alert, Waverly shooting her a strained look.

Katie looked around briefly before her eyes landed on the pair, her face kind and genuine.

“I’ll be here,” Waverly murmured, removing a small ball of yarn from her purse. Nicole nodded at her before rising and walking towards Katie, head held resolutely high.

Katie let Nicole pass her before shutting the heavy security door and leading Nicole through the twisting hall towards her office.

“Who was that with you?” Katie asked conversationally, voice coaxing as they took a turn.

“My girlfriend,” Nicole said defensively, though there was a sense of pride in it.

“She looks lovely,” Katie responded without missing a beat, shooting Nicole a reassuring smile before cracking her door open and letting Nicole in. The redhead sunk down on the couch as Katie shut the door before nestling across from her, gathering up her clipboard and gazing at the other pensively. 

Silence.

Nicole stirred, her mouth dry.

“You came back,” Katie said neutrally.

“Yeah.”

“Would you like to talk about why you left early last time first or why you chose to come back?” Katie prompted, adjusting her glasses on her nose.

“I…realized that I needed help, and you were right—you do book up fast,” Nicole muttered evasively. 

“What made you realize that?”

Nicole squirmed uncomfortably, choosing her words carefully.

“When I left…Waverly—my girlfriend—was asleep in the waiting room,” she began slowly, Katie blinking but taking the strange turn of conversation in stride, “and I kept on thinking about what she would do if something bad happened to me…if I LET something bad happen to me—” Nicole trailed off, her eyes growing distant.

“…so, I made an appointment.”

“I see.”

Nicole looked up and saw Katie was giving her a gentle smile.

“I…I can’t think like this anymore,” Nicole continued feebly.

Katie tapped her clipboard thoughtfully, considering Nicole as if trying to figure out her next move.

“You said you were afraid people would think you are crazy—do you believe Waverly would think that?” Katie began slowly, glancing down at her clipboard.

Nicole visibly stiffened, not knowing how to explain to her therapist the whole sending-demons-back-to-hell thing.

“Ah…” Nicole drawled thoughtfully, honestly not knowing what to say, “I—I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No.”

Katie considered Nicole as the redhead bit her lip and made it a point to look anywhere but at her counselor. Nicole shifted uncomfortably as the silence stretched between them, Katie looking completely unperturbed. 

“Can you expand on that?”

“No,” Nicole said honestly, her tone seeming to confuse Katie.

“Okay…” Katie said slowly, “Let’s…talk more about these bad thoughts. What exactly are they?”

“How do you mean?”

“How do they manifest? What makes you believe you are crazy?” Katie prompted.

“I thought…I thought I told you…” Nicole began with a frown, “That whole thing about my childhood…”

Katie started shaking her head at this.

“A lack of memories is one thing—what equates this to psychosis? What makes you believe there is a connection there?”

Nicole sat there, dumbfounded—at a literal loss of words as her mind blanked. She was not expecting their conversation to take this turn.

“I guess because I feel like I don’t have any control over it,” Nicole said thoughtfully.

Katie stirred, perking up slightly.

“And you like having control over it?”

Nicole froze, warning bells going off in her head.

“That would be…ideal…” she ventured cautiously.

Katie arched an eyebrow at the redhead.

“And how would you describe your relationship with control?” Katie asked calmly, pen poised.

Nicole blinked.

“I’m…I’m so sorry,” Nicole stuttered, exhaling slowly, taking a moment, “I’m…excuse me?”

“We are discussing your relationship with control,” Katie prompted patiently, “because you believe that a lack of control over bad thoughts means you are psychotic.”

“…that’s not what I said,” Nicole responded, eyes flashing dangerously, “You are putting words into my mouth.”

Katie raised her eyebrows at this, only mildly bewildered—not even upset at Nicole’s accusation.

“No, I am not. I am merely offering you another interpretation of your thoughts and associations.”

Nicole glared at the other, searching for anything hostile, searching for a reason to march out—but all she found was gentle patience and calm.

It irritated her.

“Do you need a moment?” Katie asked.

“Yes,” Nicole bit out angrily, looking away and chewing the inside of her cheek.

The silence was screaming at her to stop being so melodramatic. It took her several moments of this to calm her breathing and forcing herself to look Katie back in the eye.

“I like having control of my life,” Nicole stated neutrally.

“And what about over yourself?” Katie asked, eyes cast down as she wrote on her clipboard. Part of Nicole wanted to demand to know what she was writing.

“Naturally,” Nicole responded.

“So, when you panic…” Katie said slowly, her voice guiding.

Nicole’s hostility melted away as something clicked into place.

“It’s because I feel out of control…and then I panic more…” Nicole murmured to herself.

“Which is never good,” Katie commented idly, cocking an eyebrow at the other, “What about in relationships?”

“What about them?” Nicole asked evasively.

Katie shot her an exasperated look.

“Would you say you are controlling in your relationships?”

“Well that’s a bit impertinent,” Nicole shot back idly, jumping on the poorly worded question. Two could play at this game.

Katie held Nicole’s gaze, her expression completely neutral before she very slowly and deliberately scribbled something on her clipboard before capping her pen and leaning back, observing Nicole silently.

“What was that,” Katie asked calmly, but there seemed to be a quiet rage behind the words, “a defense mechanism?”

“No, I just don’t see what that has to do with anything—” Nicole explained innocently, gleeful that her smokescreen was working.

“Miss Haught,” Katie said neutrally, “While I normally stray away from this topic, I think what people take pleasure in says a lot about them. I wasn’t asking about control in the bedroom, but if you insist we talk about that, we will.”

Nicole found herself backtracking.

“Oh, I didn’t know—”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Katie interrupted calmly, “But to ask simply, do you prefer having control in the bedroom?”

Nicole stewed silently.

“Sure,” she spat.

“How often would you say you prefer control in the bedroom?” 

“I don’t know.”

Katie considered Nicole for a moment.

“Would you say you are out of control in the bedroom?”

Nicole froze.

“Are we…not talking about interpersonal relationships anymore?”

Katie didn’t respond, gazing at the other expectantly.

“I—I don’t know,” Nicole stammered, dropping all facades, “Um…most of the time…no?”

“So, you stay in-control of yourself most of the time,” Katie said calmly, “During this time are you in control of the situation?”

“Depends on the mood I guess,” Nicole said dryly.

“What happens when you lose control of yourself?”

Nicole’s body went rigid, the answer already on her mind.

“I…stop.”

“You stop having sex?”

“No…I stop trying to control…I—I stop wanting to be in control.”

For a moment Katie observed Nicole quietly, the redhead’s gaze miles away.

“Nicole?”

Nicole stirred.

“Hmm?”

“Do you trust yourself when you lose control?”

“Never.”

It was whispered in a hoarse voice, echoing in the small room.

“But…you trust Waverly?”

“Of course.”

There was a long and dramatic pause, Katie glancing at her wrist watch before plucking up her pen and scribbling some words on her clipboard. Nicole blinked and stirred, feeling numb. Katie made to get up and with a jolt Nicole realized they were out of time.

“Wait—” Nicole said feebly. Katie paused, giving her a questioning look.

“What does that mean?”

Katie blinked, bewildered.

“We’ll have to find out,” the counselor responded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole reveals some of her backstory !!!

“How was your week?” Katie asked conversationally as she settled in her chair, Nicole claiming the couch as per usual.

Nicole bit her lip, looking vaguely apprehensive as she did so. This made Katie raise her eyebrows in response.

“I uh…I panicked again.”

“What happened?” Katie probed, concern etched on her face.

“It—it wasn’t bad or anything,” Nicole added hurriedly, “I just…I don’t know. I was at work and I just kinda sat on the bathroom floor for a few minutes after taking my medicine.”

“What would you have done if you didn’t have your medication?” Katie asked calmly, observing Nicole with a curious gaze.

“I—I don’t know…” Nicole said quietly, “I carry it with me all the time now.”

“Did you not before?”

“No, I was okay…normally if I was feeling anxious I could push it off until I got home, but I can’t now,” Nicole said uselessly.

“I see.”

Silence. Nicole shifted uncomfortably, her counselor allowing the silence to stretch. Nicole was bugged out by how the other effortlessly controlled the atmosphere, somehow owning the silence and thriving in it.

Katie was gazing serenely at the other, her expression calm and calculated.

“Is there something you would like to discuss today?” Katie prompted.

“…not that I know of…”

Silence—Katie looking pensively at the other.

“Let’s talk about why you came to Purgatory.”

Nicole blinked and looked up.

“Huh?”

“I’m not a mind reader, Miss Haught—so if you don’t have anything you believe we should talk about, we will discuss this instead. Unless you have something else you want to talk about?”

Nicole shook her head.

“Okay—so where were you before Purgatory?”

“The Academy.”

“And before that?”

Nicole shifted uneasily.

“College.” Katie scribbled this down.

“What were you studying?”

“Criminal justice and law…but I didn’t go to college to study.”

It was whispered hoarsely, Katie looking up in mild surprise as Nicole—for once—freely began to give information.

“Why were you at college then?”

“The ROTC programs.”

Katie raised her eyebrows.

“You wanted into the military?”

“Sniper school.”

It was Katie’s turn to shift in shock.

“Very ambitious,” Katie said slowly, “…what happened?”

“I was in the program during ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’,” Nicole said quietly, “I was the highest-ranking officer in my squad, I was offered a position at WestPoint had I followed through.

“Everyone in my squad was pretty much gay…that or we didn’t care. I was lucky for that. Except this one person named Kasey. Kasey was super religious and we all talked about how she kind of scared us—while I was more responsible, she was always looking for a way up the ladder around me.”

Nicole paused for breath, seeming to take her time determinedly. Katie held her breath, almost as if she were scared if she interrupted it would break Nicole’s trance.

“I was dating someone in my squad—Amanda. One night we stayed late in the showers…um…fooling around…”

Nicole’s gaze was glassy as she recalled, Katie leaning in slightly to catch all of what she said, her voice dropping to a hoarse whisper.

“I just remember…looking up and seeing Kasey. She was staring at us with this…disgusted but—evil look? I tried to cover it up, but it was all too obvious, and all the times I had thought she wouldn’t mind just kind of seemed silly at that moment. She said nothing but just kind of ran away—I knew she was going to the armory to report us. The next day my offer to WestPoint was revoked because my drill sergeant refused to sign the transfer. He told me it was either me or Amanda, and I packed my things and left.”

“You dropped out of school?”

“Not then, not yet—I partied a lot after that, flunked a lot of my alternate courses before then. I was told I could drop out two months later or disciplinary action would be taken.”

“What happened then?” Katie urged quietly.

“I was homeless for five months—refused to move back in with my parents and did odd jobs around the city until I realized I wanted to become a cop. The Academy took me in fairly readily, my ROTC experience wasn’t a complete waste.”

“And then you came here?”

“And then I came here.”

Silence.

The only noise was the ticking of the clock, though this silence was different than the previous ones…it was a good silence. Nicole felt at peace with it.

“How did it feel telling me all of that?” Katie asked quietly.

Nicole simply shrugged.

“How did you adjust to partying for two months to being homeless for another five? What did you do to accommodate that?”

“It wasn’t easy—” Nicole said with a wry smile, “the first two months were me having panic attacks everyday and sleeping on park benches or homeless shelters if I overstayed a friend’s hospitality. I would bounce around old partners, but a lot of them had moved on and didn’t want to help me. It wasn’t until then I started to realize that my training had helped keep my sanity for the longest time, so I went back to it. Woke up at 4:30 in the morning, did my exercises—applied for jobs. Worked at a grocer fulltime and slept in the backroom on a pile of cardboard boxes while I saved money.”

“You changed your mindset.”

“I suppose so.”

Katie had finished writing it seemed, and Nicole realized she had talked for almost a half an hour. Nicole shifted, now in a weird mood.

“Do you believe your training is helping you now?” Katie asked.

“No.”

“Why is that?”

“Because its like…like I am in a sinking boat, and my training only teaches me to scoop water out, but its coming in too fast this time around. I need something else—something else that will stop the leak.”

Katie smiled grimly.

“You have grown.”

Nicole said nothing but gave the other a wry smile before Katie capped her pen and stood dramatically. With a jolt, Nicole sprang up—realizing it was time to go. Katie opened the door for her and the pair walked down the hall, the redhead feeling as if she were a snow globe and someone had just shaken her. To her surprise, Katie paused at the door.

“Remember, Nicole, this is a process—and often times it gets worse before it gets better,” Katie cautioned. 

Nicole wordlessly nodded, Katie opening the door for her.

Nicole’s eyes landed on Waverly, the brunette’s face twisted in concentration as she knitted a square out of bright yellow yarn. Waverly looked up and a wide smile broke across her face.

Nicole waved Katie goodbye before going and sitting down next to Waverly, the brunette beaming at her.

“What’s this?” Nicole chimed softly.

“I’m hoping a blanket…or maybe a scarf? I don’t know yet,” Waverly said, her voice making Nicole smile, “But…um…how was it? Okay?”

“Yeah—I’m just in a funny mood is all,” Nicole said, biting her lip, “Um, Waves?”

“Yes?” Waverly said, packing her knitting in a bag.

“Do you want some ice cream?”

“Sure but…don’t we have ice cream at home?”

“Yes, I just…well why don’t we go get some…I need to talk to you about something.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's really hard to write this but I really wanted to share it with you all. Please let me know what you think <3


End file.
